Lacey Sturm - A Conversation About Family, Life, Purpose, and Love
by April Baggins for Bloodrock Media
As my co-interviewer and I walked in the frigid February
Michigan cold, toward the humble tour bus of Lacey Sturm, former front woman of
Flyleaf, I began mentally running through the checklist of facts I had read,
with my questions. While my interviews
are typically more conversational, not strict Q&A, I wanted to make sure
that I didn’t forget what I had intended to ask. My co-interviewer, Annette, a newbie to the
interview scene, was anxious, not only was she new at interviewing, but Lacey
Sturm just so happened to be one of her all-time favorite vocalists. As we walked up the steps of the tour bus, I
reminded myself not to swear, Lacey Sturm, a devoted Christian, would not
appreciate a slip of the tongue.
As we turned the corner of the tour bus, before me was an
angel; a slight blonde cherub, cozied up to a small space heater, oozing love
and compassion from every pore, with the smallest amount of exhaustion
apparent, but welcoming nonetheless. At
5’5” I’m rarely the tallest female in the room, but today would be the day I
would be a giant, my frame shadowing her 4’10”, as I introduced myself and
Annette, she didn’t seem to notice that she was in the presence of an orc. She was friendly, open, pleasant and gentle.
Flint is the 11th date on her 16 city headlining
tour with Letters from the Fire, Stitched up Heart, and Palisades, I began the
interview by asking how the tour was going.
She replies that it is going well, but opens up that the day before was
the first day she felt tired. Her son
had an accident which resulted in an ER visit and a concussion diagnosis, and
her dog was sick in PA. Tears well in
her eyes, not only from being stretched, but she didn’t think she come back onto the
music scene, choosing motherhood over her career in 2012 was not easy, and
these two situations are begging the question (for her) as to whether she
made the right choice. She is tough, she
fights back the tears and says she is happy that tomorrow they are back in PA,
so she can go home and see her dog.
When asked how she manages motherhood and her career, she
quickly answers, “by making good choices”.
That she prays and she has a great support system with her husband,
guitarist Josh, and they are lucky that her two boys can travel with them. She speaks of her husband with an enormous
amount of respect and admiration, he compliments and grounds her.
She speaks openly of her Christian beliefs, the moment that
God saved her life, and how life is so much easier when we realize we are not
God. We are all sinners, all flawed, and
it is not intended for us to be perfect.
That each and every person is one of God’s works of art and our job is
to love one another. Her gift is her voice;
this is how she serves God. She heals the
broken with her lyrics, picking up the tiny, shattered pieces, and carefully
puts them back into place. Her words a
map for the lost, she understands, she was once lost too, but God saved
her. Helping others is what brought her
back to music. She received thousands
and thousands of letters from fans about how her words saved them and she
realized that if these people needed her, that she had to be there for
them. She had to be their light in the
dark. Not because she wanted to force
her Christianity onto others, as she understood that believing nor faith can be
forced on others, they have to be ready to believe on their own time, but it
was her job, as one of God’s architects.
So her and Josh decided to do a solo project; no record
labels, no pressure from large PR firms.
In February 2016, they released the honest and relatable melodic hard
rock album titled, Life Screams, with fellow band mates Ben Hull
(bass) and Drew Rodaniche (drums). Every
track is powerful and performed with heart-wrenching passion. Lacey’s live performance is even more
moving. You can feel her absolute
devotion to God through her lyrics and see the positive reaction by those in
the audience, many of which throw their hands up in praise to Him, instead of
the ‘devil horns’ typically seen in a rock audience.
She has released two books, The Reason and The
Mystery, about her journey in life.
Attesting that she is human, despite her profound awareness and
connection to God, she has made mistakes, she has sinned, but she has found
redemption, and has forgiven herself.
She has allowed herself to be vulnerable and has allowed herself to be loved;
she has accepted who she is, and what she has to offer.
In many ways my interview with Lacey was a conversation with
myself, albeit an extremely tiny, adorable and, talented version of myself, but
I digress. When I was 17 years old I had
a flawless plan to commit suicide, I had attempted many times before, but never
anything that would ‘work’. I did not
believe in God, as Lacey did not, I had endured so much pain as a child, and if
there was a God, he would never allow a child to be harmed the way I was. Similar to Lacey’s experience, she denied His
existence because she had so much pain and seen so much pain around her. Then one day, THAT day, God saved us. He told me I had a purpose, that I was loved,
that I was meant to do wonderful things, and that my pain was a burden he
bestowed upon me because I was strong enough to carry it, and only someone who
has carried it could ‘save’ others. That
day changed my life. Lacey had her
experience in church, she felt God’s love shower her, and she realized she had
ignored his grace but she was finally seeing it, feeling it, and accepting of
it. She had spent so many years angry
and, that she failed to see the beauty and love around her. That is the day she truly began to live.
She and I talked about how God shows himself to us every
day, some of us choose to see it, and others ignore it because they are scared
or are not ready. But every day we are
blessed with His love, be it through a person we meet, or a ray of sunshine on
our faces. She, like I, carried so much
around with us, focusing on every little negative detail, or as they say ‘sweating
the small stuff’, until we realized that we were wasting the wonderful
opportunity God gave us. God blessed her
with a beautiful voice, a voice with the power to reach millions of people, and
to make a difference in their lives. God
blessed me with the gift of strength; I can be as strong as an army when
required. Every person on this planet
has a purpose, a gift, it is up to them to harness that and use it for good.
It took me a little over a week to write my summary of the
show because I wasn’t certain on what to focus on, the actual show, or the
experience of meeting her. I decided
that the show was impressive, as expected, however it dims in the comparison of
sitting down and talking to her one on one.
I also wasn’t certain about how open I should or would be about who I
used to be and who I am today. But I decided
to lay it out on the table, I have very little to lose by doing so, if Lacey can be open, so can I.
One of the many things that moved me with my conversation with
Lacy is when Annette asked her if it bothered her when bands she is performing
with swear or say negative things during their performances, without hesitation she said it did not
bother her. She said that when she
performs with bands with a negative message, she knows how important it is to
counter their negativity with her positive energy and love, this is her part in
God’s world and one she is happy to play. So the one thing I will say to anyone that
reads this article is to remember you are loved, you have a purpose, and you
are not alone. For every negative word or feeling, there is something good or someone good, you just have to open your ears, mind, and heart to accept it. It isn't easy, every day is a struggle, but I, and Lacey, will testify that it is worth it.
Buy her books The Reason and The Mystery here:
#laceysturm #lifescreams #bloodrockmedia #thereason #themystery #flyleaf
